A remix with thanks to Chuck Mee, Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy & Cheyenne Mize

Sometimes
I drive past your house
your apartment
the park where we went on walks
the bench where we sat
a tree
pockets
of fresh air
and breath deep.

I haven’t washed the pillowcase
or the sheets
since you left
and I wont.

This is how I survive.

And I remember the time
we were finishing our lunch in a garden
on a hill above Lyons.
It was in June or July and hot
and someone suggested that we take off all our clothes
and jump into the pond.

I could hear Andre saying
his girlfriend would be with us in just a minute
but his voice sounded muffled
through the shirt I already had over my head
and then,
in the end,
no one went in the water.

Andre fucked me first
slowly
and calmly
which was his way.
And then Paco came and took his place.